Father’s Day or Cat’s in the Cradle

I am writing this as we all approach Father’s Day. Many of us think that Father’s Day is just another Hallmark invention. At least, I used to think that. I mean, how many “special” days do we have to observe before there are no regular days? That is the way I felt before I became a father. I could go on and on about what fatherhood means and how challenging it is, but that would only be another sermon out of my mouth. Actually, being a father is a privilege.

Of late, two things have reminded me of fatherhood, and they aren’t my two daughters. It is the song “Cats and the Cradle” by Harry Chapin and my recent visit to my own father. I have always considered myself a good son, but remember, that is my opinion. However, I have received tons of affirmation from both my parents.

I have always found “Cats and the Cradle” a bit chilling because it presents the picture of a son becoming just like his father who was a good man but lost perspective on what was important in parenting. Namely, putting in the time to be with your children at the same time as being challenged by the responsibili-ties of job and other obligations that keep a family afloat. In the end, the song simply says, “I have become like you, Dad” or, put differently, “I have missed a lot of my children’s life by trying to be a good father and providing for my family.”

I remember coming home from college very close to Christmas and being picked up by my parents who had missed me enormously. Upon getting out of the car I asked them if I could have the car to go see my girlfriend. I can see their faces drop even now as we stood in the driveway, unloading the car. However, at that age you feel you have all the time in the world - there will be other times when we can be together. Sometimes those times never come again, though.
So, as I was sitting at the kitchen table with my father recently at his house in Sacramento, CA, I asked him, “So, what shall we do today?” He replied, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” I shrugged my shoulders, and he said, “Just sitting here and looking at you is great.” For a moment a chill went up my spine because of the preciousness of the opportunity that had availed itself to me and the reminder that I had ignored it many times previously amid all of the “important” things I had to do.

My visits now to California are infrequent and short, much too short, and so I feel a bit haunted by “Cat’s in the Cradle”, especially the refrain, as I have to say goodbye to my father again:

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then.

Father’s Day is just another opportunity to remind dads and their children that time is fleeting, life is short, and moments together are more important than you think. Don’t miss the opportunity to connect.