Listen Mothers !!!

Advice to anyone who wants to be a good mother

Initially I was not a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio. I have never seen the classic movie “Titanic” in its entirety for many reasons, one of which is I know how it ends. However, I’ve have seen parts of the movie as I use my remote to channel surf. The scenery of the ship and the elegance of a bygone era were wonderfully recreated by director James Cameron. However, I was not sold on Leonardo DiCaprio. Sure he was young and some would say also handsome, but you have to have talent. Let me stop and just say that I was wrong – big time! He has developed into an enormous talent and great actor. I’ve seen him in “Catch me if you can”, “The Aviator”, “Blood Diamonds”, “The Departed” and the list goes on and on. He is now in a movie entitled, “J. Edgar” - a movie about J. Edgar Hoover, the once enormously powerful head of the FBI.

The interesting thing that I discovered as I was reading about him and the movie, “J. Edgar,” was that he had a very powerful mother as did J. Edgar Hoover. However, he characterized the difference between their two mothers this way:

The difference was that Hoover’s mother told him what to do and my

mother listened to me,” he said. “My mother was incredibly supportive.

She wasn’t a stage mom and really didn’t care either way if I was an actor.

She listened to this arrogant little kid saying that he wanted to be an actor

and didn’t laugh in my face.

As I read this, I thought of all of the mothers in the world who have taken their sons and daughters lives seriously and listened to them. There is no greater feeling than being heard and understood. It is my feeling that genuine love is listening to someone – paying attention. When you are listening, you are loving and when you are not listening, you are too caught up in your own life and what is happening to you. Listening to your children is not about you, it’s about supporting them in their goals and in their dreams.

“Those who have ears, let them hear!”

"It wasn't breakfast at Tiffany's but ..."

Reflections on Love and Marriage

Being a pastor for so many years, I’ve had the opportunity to marry many couples. It is actually something that I enjoy but it does give you pause to realize that when you enter into marriage, most people have no idea what they are promising. None of us have any idea about what the future will bring as we promise ourselves away to another person.

This weekend will be the last of four weddings I’ve officiated at in the last month. You do more than officiate; you meet with them several times in what I call “enrichment” not therapy. There is the rehearsal along with the wedding itself. Our weekends have been tied up totally this past month.

Recently I did a wedding at The Plaza Hotel in New York City in which we stayed overnight at The New York Athletic Club with a perfect view of Central Park. We woke up to a great day but wanted to find a place where we could have a reasonable breakfast. The Athletic Club offered a $35.00 per person brunch that we thought was more than we needed after a huge wedding the night before. We walked down 59th to Sarah Beth’s – an upscale eatery and found that they had a waiting line of at least a half of an hour for breakfast and that too would have been $35-40. The same story continued as we went to the Hyatt and then mysteriously around the corner on 6th Avenue, there was this dive called “Angela’s Deli” We walked in and were hearing orders being yelled out left and right behind the counter. I saw an empty table and told Kathy to quickly reserve it as I ordered us two omelets, coffee and a bagel, all for under $20.00. As I sat down at the table, to my left was a guy playing with his I Phone with a cigar in his mouth. Down at the other side, were a couple of runners having coffee and then sitting down next to us was an older couple. As I was eating my omelet, this talkative Italian couple asked me what I was doing here. I said that we went to a wedding in Manhattan and he said we are here today because we are married 60 years. I said 60 years, he said yeah, we thought we’d come in today and celebrate it. I said I hope you find a better place than this. I took a look at them and they didn’t look young, but they did look great. I guess marriage agreed with them and they looked like they had lots of energy. They told us that they were from Queens and took the train in for a day in Manhattan. They were so cheerful and happy that they lifted me out of my morning fog and brought a smile to my face.

The couple next to them overheard our conversation and said we’ve been married 15 years – there were smiles all around. Manhattan is a crazy place filled with lots of young, unmarried men and women and I’m sure that the statistics hold true here that more than half of marriages, end in divorce.

I still maintain that when you get married, you need a lot of things, which include patience, understanding, forgiveness, lots of love and a seatbelt because the ride may not always be smooth.

I had finished a counseling session with another young couple just before this wedding. As I always do, I asked them to write a love letter to each other and read it in my office in front of me. They did so but what I noticed was how they ended their letters. One said to the other, remember, “I love you more,” the other responded in his letter, “I love you most.” Well, I guess you can say that it sounds a little corny and that this old minister sometimes cries at weddings, but when it comes to relationships, it’s never 50%; it’s always 100%.

I wasn’t sure as I looked around this place – there was a picture of BB King, some advertisements for Broadway and a beat up menu on the wall but as I finished my coffee, I realized that I might just have had the best omelet of my life.

“Otherwise”

Reflections on gratefulness

I came across a poem by Jane Kenyon that caused me to pause and think. In our busy, rushed and hectic world, there is never enough time to think and reflect or even meditate. However, as I read this poem, I was struck by how often we take our world for granted as if it were going to be always that way.

The poem, “Otherwise” by Jane Kenyon who was the Poet Laureate of New Hampshire and the author of several books on poetry is a good example of her work which is sometimes very direct but sparse. She herself died at a rather young age of Leukemia, but not before finishing several books that give us insight into the subtle nuances of human existence. It’s even been said that a theme of faith is threaded throughout her poetry.

The following is her poem that points out the contrast of our lives:

“Otherwise”

by Jane Kenyon

I got out of bed

on two strong legs.

It might have been

otherwise.

I ate

cereal, sweet

milk, ripe, flawless

peach. It might

have been otherwise.

I took the dog uphill

to the birch wood.

All morning I did

the work I love.

At noon I lay down

with my mate. It might

have been otherwise.

We ate dinner together

at a table with silver

candlesticks. It might

have been otherwise.

I slept in a bed

in a room with paintings

on the walls, and

planned another day

just like this day.

But one day, I know,

it will be otherwise.

I like “Otherwise” because it calls us into realizations about life that we take for granted thinking as if things will be the same forever.

In another way as you look back on your life, you realize that things have changed from a wall that was built in Berlin to it’s destruction that came years later. You realize that your children have grown up or you see that you have grown older. It is a nagging contrast of the word, “Otherwise” that pushes us to appreciate the moments we have lived into meaning and the many people that decorate our life with love and friendship. The appreciation grows even more intense if you are an alert person who realizes that life is fragile and things change.

“Otherwise” forces us to take a deep look at ourselves and realize that things could have turned out differently and even far worse than we ever thought.

Regret is something that we all live with but also a feeling that we want to minimize as much as we can. It’s been said that “Hell is truth seen too late.” It is the world of “If only” that haunts us. If only I had done the right thing. If only I was there for them. If only I was a better father. It’s another way of saying that things have been “Otherwise” in our life’s journey. It’s the reality of the “Otherwise” that makes a person wake up and see that they have really messed up or missed a prime opportunity to be a better person or to help another person.

“Otherwise” is another way of saying, but for the grace of God, go I.” Christians happen to believe that grace can make a difference in our lives. That difference allows us to look at life with a thankful heart and a willingness to give back because we have been so blessed and fortunate.

Christian faith is always pointing us to gratefulness and generosity. It is always asking us to look at our mortality and the hour glass that never stops running. The faith is about gratefulness and thanksgiving because life might have turned out “Otherwise.”

As we look to Jesus, we as Christians lift up and appreciate his life, death and resurrection because it might have been “Otherwise.”

--MEH

"In Love With Death"

Reflections on 9/11 – Tens years later

Perhaps you were like me over the past week listening to all of the reflections, memories, thoughts, projections, political implications and feelings people expressed about the planes that hit the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and an open field in Pennsylvania. I was especially moved by an article written by Jim Dwyer entitled, “In Love with Death.” He mentioned in this article that as the years went by, it was like climbing a ladder each year and viewing Ground Zero in a different way. Step by step from the rubble, you would rise to see new revelations from the events of that day.

He had one example that touched me and struck a cord in my heart. It was about a woman, Anne Mulderry, from upstate New York.

He wrote this:

"That morning, Anne Mulderry sat in the backyard of her home near Albany to wait for news about two of her eight children who worked in Lower Manhattan. Before

long, she heard herself howling to the heavens.

Her son, Stephen – scrappy college basketball player, family peacemaker – was, when

last heard from, in a conference room on the 88th floor of the south tower with a dozen other people, all of them sharing a single phone to make their essential calls.

Much later, struggling to find consolation, Anne Mulderry saw that the choices she faced also confronted the larger world. “How to resist falling in love with death was the question,” she said. “Depression and despair is one way of falling in love with death. Violence and aggression is another way.”

As I read this, I was confused at first by her statement that you could fall in love with death. But on further consideration, that’s always the seduction. The world is always trying to entice us with activities that bring us to death. Things can be so destructive whether it’s drugs and alcohol, violence and other shows on television of bad behavior or just succumbing to a despairing attitude of defeat. In so many small and subtle ways, our faith and our hope is nickeled and dimed away.

Mulderry becomes aware that the ache in her heart over the loss of her son could push her to embracing a hopeless and despairing attitude about life. But the lesson she shares is the same lesson that St. Paul tries to tell all of us. Death and hate and evil are not to have the last word. He even says, “Death where’s thy sting and grave where’s thy victory.” (1 Corinthians 15:55)

In the end, the Christian proposal for the whole world is that love is going to defeat hate and life will overcome death. This is the message for those of us who live on this side of the resurrection.

"The accessible God"

I was recently reading excerpts from Jane Fonda’s new book, “The Private Life of a Public Woman.”I also watched with interest, an interview she gave on Charlie Rose.She is an amazing person no matter what you think of her politics.Indecently, she claims over and over again, to be sorry and apologizes for ever bringing shame to herself and all of America as she sat on military equipment in Hanoi.Without a doubt, it was a major blunder.But that is not what interests me about her.It’s not her movies either, but it is her reflection upon her husbands and especially her father, Henry Fonda.I really liked Henry Fonda in so many movies.Of course my favorite is “The Grapes of Wrath.”But, actors are actors and some of us who have never been on the Silver Screen; continue to act like we care about other people.We also act as if we were Christians.Unfortunately, not much comes from the heart.

Interestingly enough, Jane Fonda claimed she married three men and all of them resembled in one way or another her father.Far from the characters that her father has played which were often sensitive heroes, Henry Fonda was a perfectionist and was very remote from his children, let alone his wives – one of which was Jane’s mother who committed suicide.

Jane Fonda spoke of always trying to win her father’s approval, affection and appreciation.She spoke in a recent interview, “my dad shadows me and I wonder if he approves of what I am doing now?”I have a feeling this is the case with many children as they seek approval from their parents.

Henry Fonda was not accessible as a father and probably not as a person.He looked accessible and played people on the screen that were accessible to others.In the end, he was remote and inaccessible.The more I thought about this, the more I think that people’s vision of God is really a vision of Greek mythology where the God Zeus lives in the clouds far away from human existence.All of this is just a misreading of the Christian faith and couldn’t be farther from the truth that radiates through the pages of the New Testament.

“What if God was One of Us?” as that popular song goes written by Eric Bazillian and sung by Alanis Morissette.

When we talk of incarnation, we are speaking of a God who is very accessible in Jesus Christ.The Christian proposal for the whole world is that God is very near and is embodied in the human race in the name of Jesus, our Lord.In his life, Jesus always made himself accessible to hungry people on a hillside, to widows who cried for help, to the sick and informed and to his disciples in a storm on the sea.So accessible that he was captured, put on the cross and dies for us!

The question is, “How accessible are we to his ministry?” Or do we simply remain remote and inaccessible to his call to follow me.

"Forever Young"

Today we live in a very youth oriented culture with so much advertising from Botox treatments to shampoos that make you look and feel younger. For a fact we know that people are living longer and that becomes an issue for healthcare, Social Security and all kinds of expenses. But most of us don’t feel as old as we probably are. In fact, the new saying is 60 is the new 40.

All of this is very interesting except that as a sports fan, it’s hard to watch your sports heroes in decline. Swimmer - Michael Phelps who took home 16 medals at the last 2 Summer Olympics said to reporters in a recent article that I read, “I feel like an old man coming out of the pool sometimes.” Tiger Woods at the age of 35 suffering from numerous injuries and a disastrous personal life seems to be showing signs not only of wear and tear, but of aging. He’s not the only one to slow down or become a victim of the aging process. That’s been the case with lots of people, it seems like we don’t understand that after the age of 25, we are physically in decline.

In an article entitled “For Derek Jeter, On His 37th Birthday: Forever young, except on the playing field”, his athletic performance is being analyzed. He has recently broken the record of 3000 base hits, but has been injury prone and is beginning to miss a number of games. In tracking his performance from his rookie year of 1996 through his most recent full season, 2010 - looking at stolen bases, slugging percentage, defensive range, etc. - you can notice a decline. The swing of the bat is not as fast, getting to the ball takes a few seconds longer and striking out becomes more frequent. Derek is 37, still looks good but you can notice the receding hairline, the wrinkles around his eyes and the fact that he is not quite what he used to be.

Then again, neither are we because in this mystery called “life”, we are all given a number of days and as we progress, we all move into an aging process that will bring us in the end to death. It’s the same for Derek Jeter, except he just signed a 51 Million Dollar contract, which makes him a little different than most of us, but aging is the great equalizer and so is death.

I supposed what I am getting at here is mortality. Sometimes youth is wasted on the young and we throw away our days as if they were endless. However, for all of us at some point, we wake up with the realization that time is flying by. “Has it been that long since I graduated from high school/college or gotten married?” “Can my kids be that old?”

I call this a wake up call that rouses our thoughts and our lives into the realization that we have to make the most of the time God has given us. It’s the realization that moments are precious, people are important and we shouldn’t get caught up in the small stuff that prevents us from becoming the people we need to be and reaching out to the people that we care about.

Bob Dylan has that great song entitled “Forever Young”, but forever young is an attitude. It’s an attitude of maintaining enthusiasm, interest and a lifelong desire to continue learning. I’ve presided over a lot of funerals. Some people are able to put 95 years of learning into 50 years of life, while others don’t seem to accomplish much at all. Most of the time they are stuck or paralyzed in the past and never seem to want to face or embrace the future. It’s really sad when people who are seniors drop out of things with the thoughts that “I’ve given enough, it’s time for someone else to take over.” It’s a negative mentality that makes you old. You see, we are all getting old whether you like it or not, but you don’t have to have an old mentality. In fact, you can be forever young if you embrace the attitude that life is a gift with opportunities and journeys yet to take. I’m reminded of Psalm 90 (one of my favorites) that talks about the shortness of life and likens it like grass that grows up in the morning and withers in the evening. The Psalm tells us that we need to count our days and gain a heart of wisdom and that we need God to “Satisfy us in the morning with steadfast love.....and make us glad as many days.....and years” that we have been given.

For in the end:

God is our dwelling place in all generations.

And before the mountains were brought forth

or ever you have formed the earth and the world

from everlasting to everlasting, you are God

May God keep you forever young.

MEH

"Improvisation"

Reflections on Life and Jesus

Life can be characterized in so many ways. For example: “it’s what happens to you when you are making other plans.” Or, “life is an onion we peel crying.” Another quote which is rather somber is: “life never gives like it takes away.” I’m sure there is a truth in each one of these sayings. However, I want to suggest that “while there are no dress rehearsals in life”; life is really improvisation. It’s how we react to what we are given or what we face.

I’m reminded of this again when I saw the commencement address to the graduates of North Western University by the comedian/satirical newscaster, Stephen Cobert. He (a Roman Catholic) made an interesting point when he said, “life is an improvisation.” I’ve had the pleasure of going to various theaters that deal with improvisation. For example, in San Francisco there used to be an improvisation group called “The Committee.” In Chicago, there was “Second City” where of course a lot of famous people got their start and then graduated to Saturday Night Live.

Improvisation is an interesting term. It basically means that you have to make up things as you go along. This is another way to characterize life. The following is a quote from Cobert’s speech:

After I graduated from here, I moved down to Chicago and did improv. Now there are very few rules to improvisation, but one of the things I was taught early on is that you are not the most important person in the scene. Everybody else is. And if they are the most important people in the scene, you will naturally pay attention to them and serve them . . . . You cannot "win" improv.

And life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next, and you are mostly just making things up as you go along. And like improv, you cannot win your life.

The more I thought about what he said, the more I began to agree that there is much of life that comes at us and we have to react to it. Even when we aggressively pursue things, we enter into situations that require us to respond to people, places and circumstances. The secret is knowing how to respond. This is where our faith gives us a lot of guidance. Whatever you are trying to achieve, the whole picture of life is not about you - it’s about how you respond to others. Cobert’s point about making others look good has a lot of validity. Successful lives are lives where we park our ego at the door and begin to see a bigger picture - the lives of our family, our friends and our community/world.

While we don’t know what is always ahead of us - a marriage, a baby, a change in careers, moving to a new community or even issues that involve health, we are called upon to respond.

Faith puts us on the road and hope keeps us there. Cobert borrowed a page from Jesus’ gospel that talked about service. Jesus once said, “no one can serve two masters.” He also said to his disciples, “I’m among you as one who serves.” Cobert interprets it this way:

In my experience, you will truly serve only what you love, because, as the prophet says, service is love made visible.

If you love friends, you will serve your friends.If you love community, you will serve your community.If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself. So no more winning. Instead, try to love others and serve others, and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.

This is not bad advice. In fact it is good advice not just for graduates of North Western or any college. It’s good advice for us too - Cobert isn’t fooling anyone when he gives this advice. It’s straight out of the New Testament and it’s the life that Jesus modeled for all of us.

Not all of life is improvisation, but much of it involves making the right choices and trying to serve others along the way. However in the end, we can agree with Bishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa who says, “I’ve read the book and I know how it ends.” By this he means, for the Christian in the end there is resurrection. There is good news from the graveyard and death doesn’t have the final word. This part of life is not improvised, it is there for us in faith to trust!

MEH

“So Beautiful, So What”

Reflections on Paul Simon and Easter

If you follow sports, you soon notice that a player’s career is on a down hill spiral after about 30. When you get into your late 30’s, you are looking at the end. We could call this the Jorge Posada syndrome. Posada is a professional catcher for the New York Yankees who was always a feared clutch hitter and would always come through when you needed a run. Recently this year, while he is still receiving a 13 million dollar contract, he is batting under 200 and was placed #9 in the batting order. He responded by asking to be taken out of the lineup. This created a small fire storm in the Yankee dugout and with the press to the point that he later apologized. It’s hard to not be able to do what you did when you were young. You get pushed aside by the hungry players coming up eager to take your place. Of course this is the story of all of us because none of us are irreplaceable.

It can be a little different in other careers because experience and knowledge can make a big difference. I’ve always felt that I’m better at what I do now than ever before. In fact I often joke that you probably would not have wanted to know me 30 years ago. I don’t feel that I was nearly the minister I am now. In fact, I cringe sometimes when I think about a young version of me - who once knew it all. Now I only shake my head and think about how little I do know and how much more there is to learn. I’m no where near being pushed aside, in fact, I don’t think that I have reached my prime yet.

All of this came home to me when I recently attended a Paul Simon concert. He is someone who is still extremely creative and hasn’t lost his voice. It was a joy to listen to him sing - of course I enjoy those old tunes whether it’s from Simon and Garfunkel or Graceland and his solo career that followed. Of course, Paul Simon is singing late in the game as he has just turned 70 years old along with Bob Dylan and others that were once these “wild and crazy guys.” This time though as I listened to Paul Simon’s new album entitled “So Beautiful or So What”, I was moved by the lyrics that indicated a different tone from what he had sang in the past. It had to do with mortality. You got the feeling that he is looking ahead and starting to see the spiritual and sacred dimensions of life. You can understand this just by the song titles: “The Afterlife”, “Love is Eternal Sacred Light”, “Questions for Angels” and so on. The music is a bit haunting because you see an artist searching and in some way discussing transcendence. Even in the middle of his concert, he yelled out “I’m getting old, isn’t it great.”

As we close out the season of Easter, we are all reminded of our mortality and of the victory of our Lord over death. We gather to affirm life and not death, to reassert that love is stronger than hate. There is a song of good news on our lips as the people of God gather each Sunday to know that sins are forgiven and that we are about life that is abundant and eternal.

Paul Simon’s album is entitled “So Beautiful or So What.” I suppose those are the choices we have when we look at life. Do we see what is beautiful or what is good or are we lost in a world of boredom, despair, apathy and cynicism. As Easter people, we have broken out of that tomb of negativity and death. We rise again with redemptive energy and love. That’s the heart of who we are.

--MEH

What Defines Us?.......

Reflections on the Resurrection

In my world I’m often being bombarded with forms to fill out. People want information about you every time you apply for something. We have all different ways of defining ourselves. For example, male or female, Norwegian or I’m sorry you’re not, Caucasian, Latino, Asian and of course there is always “other”, whatever that means. Other way to define ourselves, could be Lutheran, New Yorker, expatriate. Some of my less than religious friends may call themselves Agnostic or even Atheist.

Self definition is an interesting concept. I wonder how many of us would define themselves as people of the resurrection? I was interested to read Bishop Hansen’s Easter letter to the church at large. He was talking about the country of Haiti. Haiti to me seems like a godforsaken place, if there ever was one. It seems to be right in the site of every hurricane that blows through the Caribbean. It’s people always seem to be victimized by bad government and corrupt officials that make this country seem out of control and unmanageable.

I was recently watching an episode of “No Reservations” on the Travel Channel where Anthony Bourdain took his show to Haiti where he was as shocked as everyone to see how horrible the conditions are there. Interestingly enough, Sean Penn has spent a lot of his own money and the past year trying to help out this country. While he has done a lot of good, you often feel numb by the fact that there is so much poverty, sickness, corruption, death and destruction. The latest earthquake just added to the curse that Haiti seems to experience as almost part of it’s destiny.

What I found striking about Bishop Hansen’s letter was his quote from the president of the Lutheran church of Haiti, Pastor Josephus Livenson Lauvanus. As he and Bishop Hansen walk through the devastation of Haiti’s earthquake, Pastor Lauvanus proclaimed, “we will not be defined by rubble, but restoration, for we are the people of the resurrection.”

Isn’t that the Easter message? As believers, we do not have to define ourselves by our sins, our mistakes, our despair or our depression. According to the Christian proposal to the world, we are people of the resurrection. The resurrection of our Lord defines us as it has defined our church from the beginning.

Many may think that Christmas is the most important holiday of the Christian faith, but in reality it was not celebrated until centuries afterward. What started the Christian faith, defined it and started the church, was Easter. Without the resurrection, there would not be a church because Jesus’ disciples would have packed it in and gone home. It was a resurrection that sparked a hope, that opened a door and it inspired all who followed him to begin a community centered around the resurrection.

What defines our church and us is our faith that makes us hopeful people who against all odds will not be defined by death, despair or tragedy. Resurrection becomes a last word - a word of hope to the whole community that new life, and forgiveness defines who we are as the people of God. So in the end, the resurrection of our Lord says “Love is stronger than hate and life will overcome death into eternity.”

-MEH

Why Bother?

Thoughts on faith and cynicism...

The journey of Lent is a journey of forty days. It is after all modeled after Jesus and his time in the wilderness. In the famous temptations of turning rocks into bread, doing a swan dive from the pinnacle of the temple and excepting Satan’s offer to rule the world he doesn’t give in and for our sake, never gives up on who he is and what he must do. Isn’t that the issue that surrounds Lent? Are we going to give up on ourselves, let alone our confidence and faith in God? This is always the haunting temptation that Jesus faced and we face ourselves. Do I become apathetic and cynical? After all, being a person of faith in this world is an uphill battle all the way. You can always hear the voice saying, “let go of it – it’s not worth it – what’s in it for you really?” In a larger way, the question always come into your mind that asks, “do you really think you can make a difference in this world? Do you really think that your actions can change things?” The tempter’s voice always find it’s way into your ears with the words, “forget it, it’s too much, it won’t work, it will never happen, WHY BOTHER.”

For example, when you look at our world and what is taking place - as I write this we are bombing Libya and are watching traces of radiation being detected in Massachusetts. The nuclear reactors in Japan are still cause for great concern as radiation is being released into our oceans as very brave men try to work towards preventing a total nuclear meltdown in three plants. As I read the papers, I see the huge controversy taking place in Wisconsin and of course the issue of our own country let alone all of our states trying to balance their budgets with huge cutbacks. When you look forward you sometimes wonder where to begin or why bother?

The why bother part is I think a big part of the malazes that we face. I am just going to think about myself and try to survive. Many people are simply trying to build a wall around their own little world and live in a cocoon. This is a very cynical outlook and breeds apathy. On one level it looks like there are a lot of lost causes out there so why bother trying to change things? Of course I’m used to lost causes because I’m always trying to push them even though the odds are not always in my favor and the outlook sometimes looks dim. Cynicism is always biting at my heels.

Thankfully I am a person of faith and here again, many people would say to me “why bother” because it seems like Christianity is losing ground in our secular world! But faith while it needs doubt to make it really faith is the opposite of cynicism. Faith is about hope, about energy, about conviction and about believing that things can change for the better.

Sometimes when you are in the middle of a mess, it looks dark and hopeless but through vigilant efforts things change. For example, I never thought that I would ever see in my lifetime the Berlin Wall coming down. I wondered about the AIDS/HIV epidemic in Africa, but when I came to a village in Zambia and listened to one of it’s female leaders who shared what was happening in that village to fight against the AIDS/HIV epidemic, I was encouraged that maybe the African continent might someday be free of this surge.

The world is turning and spinning faster than I can imagine. The internet, Facebook and Twitter are remarkable ways to communicate. They have help spurn revolutions all through the Middle East. Egypt has fallen, Tunisia as well and without being too overly optimistic, Libya will too. I don’t want to look to the past for direction and I don’t want to live in the past. The only way to look is forward.

Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report said this: “cynicism is a self imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid that it will hurt or disappoint us.” Just another way of saying that I am not going to do anything because I am afraid of failure and rejection. That is not what faith is all about. That is not what the resurrection of our Lord is all about. In fact it is the opposite because it is the hope for a new day, a new and transformed life and for eternal life. We can’t get lost in Lent, but must realize it leads us to Holy Week, Good Friday and finally Easter and the resurrection.

--MEH

That's The Stuff That Woody Allen Movies Are Made Of...

The Carlyle Hotel is part of the things that books are written about. It’s a legendary place where John F. Kennedy would meet women such as Marilyn Monroe. It is also a place for famous people like Mick Jagger who stay there when he is in town and the many singers who perform in the very little club that inhabits this hotel. The most famous of whom has been Bobby Short who sang here until he died. I’ve had the privilege of going here a few times, once to hear Bobby Short where I sat at the bar and another time to hear Barbara Cook. This time I was here to see Woody Allen who has been playing here on Monday nights for quite a while. Being a fan of his movies, I really was looking forward to seeing him perform musically.

Woody Allen & Eddy Davis

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As we entered the place with the intentions of having dinner, you could immediately tell this place was pretty exclusive. Just the flower arrangements alone gave you the feeling that this is where the elite meet to eat. As we turned to go into the club, there was a huge picture of Bobby Short, never looking better. This was his compound back in the day. Now we were here to have a great dinner and to see the legendary actor, movie director, comedian and writer play the clarinet with his band.

As we walked in, I began to get the feeling that we were in a Woody Allen movie. There was a bizarre looking group of people gathering. You didn’t find these people in church too often and as the three of us were pushed into a little area, we began to look around at the ambiance of this little club that was almost claustrophobic when everyone started to gather for the appearance of Woody Allen. You got the feel of a 1930’s supper club with the huge murals and the curvy walls that surrounded this very elegant place. The murals looked like something from Toulouse-Lautrec, but later I find out they are by the Oscar winning French artist, Marcel Vertes. Either way, they make the place look unique and like something out of a small French club in Paris. I had read that Richard Rogers was even the first tenant of the Carlyle. Somehow you could tell that this place was haunted with the usual famous suspects. If the walls could talk, we’d all be dead.

Yet amidst the elegance of a classic MGM set, with people out of central casting eating dinner and as the band was making odd noises tuning up, an old, balding thin man with big glasses and khaki pants walked onto the stage from out of nowhere. Was that Woody Allen? Yes it was. He’s not looking at anybody; he’s looking and putting together his instrument from out of a box. The place is really getting full now, it’s two and three deep at the bar and people are wandering in and standing at the door. We’re still waiting for a drink. Our waiter seems to come by every two hours.

Soon the music begins. Woody Allen is surprisingly good. He’s blowing his brains out on a clarinet and seems to be doing it masterfully from what I know about clarinet players. It’s all great and I feel like I’m transported into a simmering little jazz club with a New Orleans band. Half way through, we still haven’t gotten our food. The table down from us is talking as if nobody was performing. A long time later, the wine still has not come, the food was cold and if you threatened to say anything bad to this waiter, he could pour the wine in your lap or not come around again for another day or two. It’s all a little bizarre; with people taking pictures with their cameras from all angles of this man that looks much older than I thought. He tries not to make eye contact with anyone the whole night; he’s looking down at the floor when he is not playing. Finally at the end, with all of the clapping, he is left there sitting next to an old banjo player who has logged many hours in places like this, perhaps next to Woody Allen himself all these years. Allen sits there not making eye contact and begins to clean his clarinet, then suddenly with his partner, begins to sing softly some tunes. The banjo guy is smiling and is sort of the “Ed McMahon” who can pull a Johnny Carson out of a funk type of guy. He makes Woody Allen look even better. Finally, Allen says thank you to everyone and walks off and is hugged by some woman standing in his way. I’m almost ready for someone to hold up a director’s boards that says “Take one, scene one”, but instead of saying “cut”, the guy says “here’s your wine.” It’s funny when you order your wine at the beginning of your meal and it comes at the end, but that’s the stuff that Woody Allen movies are made of.

Q: What's in a handshake?

A: More than you think…..

I was at the opera last night enjoying the wonderful production of Don Pasquale. I noticed in the playbill that there is actually an opera entitled, “Nixon in China”. I was taken back that someone could actually do an opera about Richard Nixon. I shouldn’t be surprised because someone actually has and it has premiered this year at the Met. It is actually about the history-making trip that a very conservative president made to Communist China in 1972. Nixon was a real almost McCarthyite, blacklist Communist fighter in his past. Now, he of all people is making a historic trip to China in which had been characterized as “the week that changed the world.”

As I read an article by journalist Bernard Kalb, I was intrigued by the questions people were asking. One in particular was would Nixon shake the hand of China’s premier Chou En-Iai? In the past, - during the Geneva conference of 1954, U.S. Secretary of State John Foster Dulles snubbed Chou by refusing to shake his hand. The Chinese never forgot that snub. Now, the world was wondering, would Nixon do the same? Actually, Nixon stepped out of the plane; arm first, hand jutting forward, to reach for the outstretched hand of the communist premier. History had just happened. For 25 years there was no communication, but that would change with a handshake and from there a break in the icy cold relations between the U.S. and China.

It’s interesting what a small thing like a handshake, a smile, a pat on the back or a welcoming gesture can do to a situation. Every Sunday, we observe an ancient Christian ritual that goes back to the earliest of times – the sharing of the peace. It is a handshake, or a hug or an affectionate kiss that takes place in the middle of our worship. Even there it cracks open all formality, allowing warmth, physicality, hospitality and sincerity to touch others in a very palpable way. Every Sunday we have an opera going on where the people of God gather to remember and lift up the mighty deeds of God and reaffirm his promises. We gather for the Eucharist, but we’re sealing it all with a wish for the peace that passes all human understanding by sharing with each other the peace of Christ and simply shaking each other’s hand.

Out of Egypt.

Cairo is a city of congestion with lots of people walking in every direction almost as thick as the dented cars that are honking their horns as they weave into tight spaces trying to move ahead. We were on foot walking to the wonderful Cairo Museum. A museum that has change very little in twenty-five years since the first time I darkened it’s doors to see the amazing treasures of King Tutankhamun. In fact the Egyptian citizens probably felt the same way about their country. Nothing has changed for the last thirty years under the iron fist rule of Hosni Mubarak. When things don’t change, it breeds a sense of hopelessness. As much as us nostalgia buffs want to keep things the same, we know that change is a gift and new innovative things are a part of the way God has created this thing we call “life.”

So, amid the toxic pollution of Cairo, there comes a breath of fresh air. It is the fresh air of change, of hope and of freedom. Night after night, I was amazed by the tenacity of those who came to demonstrate against this old regime that had held people down from self-actualization, achievement and personal fulfillment. It’s hard to go to school and then spend the rest of your life drinking coffee with others who have no job. But then, day after day people got up with a glimmer of hope to stand in front of tanks for the most part peacefully and demand freedom. It’s interesting what freedom does. The hope of it makes you lock arms with the person next to you to form a human barrier to prevent people from entering the Cairo Museum and stealing objects that belong to the World and to Egypt.

Freedom also gives you pride where before you had none. I was amazed to see people after Mubarak stepped down go into places like the Tahrir Square and begin cleaning up the mess of debris, litter and garbage that had accumulated during nearly three weeks of demonstrations. Freedom gives you a sense of pride and hopefully responsibility. It almost seems like it came immediately to these Egyptians who took responsibility to clean up the streets that they had littered.

On our walk to the Cairo Museum I noticed two huge lion sculptures at the base of the Qasr el-Nil Bridge. You can’t help but notice them because they are so huge. Later, I saw pictures of people cleaning them. I’m sure they haven’t been cleaned for years but as one person said, “this is our country now and we must take care of it.” It brought a smile to my face and made me think about how much we take freedom for granted in this country. It’s a shame that so few people vote on Election Day here. The contrast is almost jarring when you see people risking their lives, standing in front of tanks and in front of harms way to obtain that same privilege. That alone speaks volumes.

Thoughts on a revolution.

I have been to Egypt a few times, but this time was a bit different. We spent a lot of time on foot, in cars and saw the countryside in an up close and personal way. It’s a land of great importance, not only as an ally to the United States, but in the part that it plays in the history of our faith. It was Mary and Joseph who fled to Egypt to save their very lives. It was the exodus out of Egypt that is remembered in our Judeo-Christian past by the Passover. When the children of Israel wandered for forty years, it was in the desert of Sinai. When Moses received the Ten Commandments, he does so on Mt. Sinai. Even today there is a strong Christian presence in Egypt known as the Coptic Church. In Luxor we actually encountered the wonderful hospitality of the Coptic Church and were privy to a wedding.

We were just traveling through for a few days to see the wonders of this country. It is the land of the pyramids and pharaohs. It is the land of that famous river called “the Nile”, where the baby Moses was discovered by the Egyptian princess. It is a nation of tombs, mummies, sarcophagus’ and graves, with such places as the tomb of King Tutankhamen and the Valley of the Kings.

Egypt may be a land of history filled with dead mummies and monuments to the dead, but it is very much alive today. As you travel you can feel the weight of history all around you, but you can also see enormous congestion, horrific traffic, smog you can taste because it is so thick. Rivers look polluted and have become dumping grounds. The streets are full of garbage and cars are driving wildly in every direction, never staying within the lanes. It is a modern day “Dodge City. ”You are dealing with enormous poverty with people living in shacks. The salary that most people are living on is under $2000.00 per year. The government is subsidizing bread, which is the basic food of life for the ordinary Egyptian.

I found it unique and different, but at the same time, depressing. It’s a country that has been dominated for decades by dictators. It is a country with massive corruption, which leaves its people victimized and caught in a cycle of never ending poverty. It’s not an old country for 60% of the people are under thirty years old. There are lots of young people who are educated, but have no jobs and no future. The wealthy always put their foot on the necks of those who are pressed. Now the people are speaking and it’s a message being heard around the world. It’s a message of frustration and anger that is calling for Hosni Mubarak to step down and end this toxic rule that is choking the life out of Egypt’s people.

The people I met in Egypt were friendly. And despite how poor they were, they maintained a smile, a hospitable attitude and a willingness to help those who come as a tourist to enjoy their country. Now it’s their time to get a break, to have democracy and to have freedom.

"Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done” - Reflections on Sargent Shriver - Part II

Memory is a powerful thing. Sometimes people say I can forgive but never forget. At other times, things seem to slip away and much of our past gets forgotten. Memories can bring a smile to you or they can cause you to weep. If you are from my generation, you can remember the day Kennedy was assinated and what you were doing at the time. You can probably still see in your mind, that young man in his early forties saying “ask not what the country can do for you, but what you can do for the country.” To test your memory even more, can you remember whom the presidential candidate was that Sargent Shriver ran with for the Vice Presidential nomination? For those who don’t know, it was George McGovern.

Shriver did many things from the Peace Corps to the Special Olympics. It all centered around a world of action, not cheap talk or empty promises. I always remember his smile, the enthusiasm in his voice that made him a motivational force. In later years and most recently, I have seen him as an old man. He still has some remains of his good looks, if you can look great at 96.

I am told he died of Alzheimer’s, unable to identify even his own children. Alzheimer’s is a devastating disease which sends chills up my own spine. How you can lose your memory and forget people in your life like your own wife or children makes me sad. I can only imagine how tough it is on family members. But if you are Sargent Shriver and can’t remember the tremendous life of public service, I can only say it’s tragic.

I grew up in a very conservative, Lutheran environment. Every day in school we had to recite from memory, versus of the bible. I chaffed under these assignments. Never the less, I can still recite passages from memory and of course recognize a lot more because of all of those memory work assignments.

In the end, when Sargent Shriver couldn’t remember his family or close friends or even his life, he could still say the Lord’s Prayer word for word. Perhaps when our time is up in old age and we have been divested of most of our dignity, surrounded by caregivers, we can hold on to the words of the only prayer that Jesus taught his disciples.

An invitation to break mirrors - Thoughts on the life of Sargent Shriver – Part I

Growing up in the 60’s was an adventure, especially in San Francisco. I can always remember the days of Camelot with names like the Kennedy’s, Martin Luther King and others. One name that comes at me out of the past is that of Sargent Shriver. He was lesser known to most because the Kennedy clan was so large and charismatic, but in his own right he was an enormous person. His good looks, his charismatic style, his deep faith and his boundless energy made him an astonishing leader. Even in the shadow of the Kennedy legacy he was a giant of his times.

He was known most for starting the Peace Corps in which he sent thousands of young Americans around the world to get involved in the lives of people of other nations. It still goes on today. He is also responsible for the “War on Poverty” under the Johnson administration. His involvement stretched far and wide into a world of action. He just didn’t talk about things he made them happen.

I was struck by something that I learned in the recent days since his death. A New York Times article reported that he told graduating students at Yale in 1994 to “break mirrors”. “Yes, indeed, “ he said, “Shatter the glass. In our society that is so self-absorbed, begin to look less at yourself and more at each other. Learn more about the face of your neighbor and less about your own.” I thought to myself, that’s good advice. Too often in our preoccupied self-absorbed universe we don’t have time to notice others. In some ways it echoes Jesus’ words, “lose your life to discover what life is all about.” Matthew 16:25

Today on January 20th, we observe the 50th Anniversary of John Fitzgerald Kennedy’s famous inaugural address where he notes that the torch has been passed to a new generation. That same torch of selfless service, giving and caring beyond one’s own life, still rings true to this and every generation. Perhaps it’s time to break a few mirrors again.

“And What Have You Done” - Reflections on A New Year

You know how you get a song trapped in your brain and you keep repeating it over and over again? That is what has been happening to me. I’ve got that John Lennon tune “Happy Christmas” stuck in my head. Actually, it’s sort of appropriate and goes like this:

“So this is Christmas

And what have you done

Another year over

And a new one just begun

And so this is Christmas

I hope you have fun

The near and the dear one

The old and the young”

It’s the question that is so right on as we approach the end of another year. “And what have you done?” Now that is an interesting question, especially for those of us who are “acheiver types.” If you look back with that question in mind, you may get some interesting answers. You may even say to yourself, “thank God I get another chance in 2011 because I couldn’t get it all done in 2010.” I’m not sure what 2010 meant to you, but as we begin to come against 2011, I can’t help but think of the past and an opportunity to do something more with my life next year.

It’s interesting that the lessons for New Year’s Day are from Ecclesiastes 3: 1-13. That well known passage that Pete Seeger made famous in 1959. It speaks about there being time for everything and that our life is marked by time. There is a time to be born, a time to die and you know how it goes. The interesting thing about time is that you can’t get it back. Bobby Darin knowing that he had a bad heart and probably wouldn’t live to a ripe old age used to always use the poker term “let’s double down.” This meant of course to increase your bet or in his case the intensity to which he needed to live his life.

I often feel the same way. I don’t like to let time slip away without using it in a proper way. Sometimes it just slips through our fingers and before you know it, you’re looking back with regret about what you have missed or what might have been. New Year’s is an interesting time and people always make fun of those who make resolutions that they never seem to keep. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep trying. There is nothing worse than being appathetic or cynical about the gift of life that we have been given. And make no mistake about it, it is a gift.

I did run across a quote recently attributed to Malcolm Muggeridge who was an atheist much of his life, but late in the game became a rather devout Christian. In his spiritual autobiography he talked about his late in life conversion to Christ. He entitled his autobiography “Chronicles of Wasted Time.” There is a sense in which, until God shows up in our time, all of our time tends to be wasted time. It is an interesting thought and I’m not sure how I would respond to it, however even with the good fortune of having faith, I still find myself wasting time or at least not using it in positive and productive ways.

At the end of every year, I have to reiterate what is in our confession - “Lord forgive me for the things that I have done and for the things that I have left undone.” I’m not sure which phrases hit me harder but I am not a person who likes to live with regret, especially the regret of not doing something I should have done or missing out on something I could have experienced. I suppose it is all part of the game we call “life”, but my prayer this year is that 2011 will be a great year filled with opportunities. May you grab on to as many as you can.

HAPPY 2011 !!!

MEH