“I Am as Corny as Kansas in August”

I am sure that Kansas is corny in August as stalks rise up to the sky. However, as fate would have it, I was there only a couple of weeks ago when the corn was just sprouting from the ground. I had never been to Kansas before even though I lived in Illinois and went to college in Indiana, and as I walked through the airport reading advertisements, I discovered to my surprise that it has produced a lot of famous people. As I looked at the walls, I saw names like Amelia Earhart, Dennis Hopper, William Ing, Bob Dole, Buster Keaton, Stan Kenton, Harold Lloyd, Zasu Pitts, John Cameron Swayze, and many others. They all reminded me that the ground I was standing on was significant.

And here I was – arriving to preside over the wedding of Kris and Ellen Roggemann ( http://www.krisandellen.com/home.asp ), a young couple that I am very fond of and one of whom I baptized and confirmed.

I usually do not like it when people write their wedding vows. They usually sound as corny as Kansas in August… However, Kris and Ellen insisted on writing their own and they did a wonderful job. They wrote:

I, Kris/Ellen, take you, Ellen/Kris, to be my wife/husband, to share the good times and the hard times side by side.

I humbly give you my hand and my heart as I pledge my faith and love to you.

I promise to encourage and inspire you, to support you in your goals, to laugh with you, to comfort you in times of sorrow, and to work by your side in creating a wonderful life together.

And during the exchange of rings:

I give you this ring as a symbol of my love.

As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart and soul to you.

Let it be a reminder that I am always by your side and that I will always be faithful to you.

Upon my return to New York I learnt that Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller tied the knot the day before Kris and Ellen. They, too, wrote their own vows. Brooke reportedly said that she would cook more meals outside of the microwave and keep piles of debris on her side of the bed below the two foot mark and clean her closet at least once a decade. Sheen reportedly promised to organize less and listen more, quit breaking a hug too soon and mute the ball game when Brooke says, “This is a matter of life and death”. Sheen mentioned that traditional wedding vows are “so outdated” that there appears to be no difference from what is said at a wedding or at a funeral, except the casket. So, they ended their vows by saying “This and that, such and such, yada, yada, yada, bla, bla, bla.”

I suppose there is no need for me to comment on their wedding vows. They speak for themselves and for the lack of seriousness about their relationship. Perhaps that’s why all of Charlie Sheen’s relationships have ended up in a casket. Call me corny, but vows need to be taken seriously even if they are not lived up to as well as we would like it. In all relationships we need to set the bar high.